OK….now we have had enough of the rain. At first it was necessary… then it was a bit of a bore, eventually very serious with floods etc.  Now I have had ENOUGH.  I am sure when you live/work rurally you are so much more aware of the weather.  In part this is due to the multiple clothes changes in a day, the washing machine is continually churning round and round and the roof is leaking where it has never leaked before.  Pneumonia in the calf shed has been awful, the worst we have ever known and Mike has had a cough/chest infection which nearly finished him off.  I have to collect children from the bus stop as I am’ just about soft enough’ to feel sorry for them walking a mile in the rain (not like in my day of course - we had to walk miles in all-weather).

​Horses have to stay in as much as possible (thank goodness for the hard standing areas) and if there is any plus side (for us, not necessarily horse owners) the forage sales are up, thus proving that every cloud has a silver lining. 

​This appears to have no effect whatsoever on Mike who can only see the joy of a new machinery shed (maybe we could move in there?)   Worse still, he has talked me around…How did that happen?

At long last I have my rouges gallery in the holiday cottage.  I put a door with 15 small glass windows horizontally on the wall, painted it then put a row of metal hooks along the bottom for coats etc.  I now fill each pane with pictures of dogs on holiday in the cottage.  It makes the dog room really rather jolly and a bit more personal.  I love it when people email dog pics. 

BEFORE

Izi will be joining Sharon & I on the ‘clean team’.  It means we can get the extra odd jobs done without looking completely shell-shocked by the finish.  You can have an immaculate cottage and delicious cream tea (with owner looking like a hag) or lower cleaning standards (if make-up and/or hairbrush are used).  It’s a ‘no brainer’ and I don’t think I have scared anybody yet.  I felt so sorry for the guest who stayed for a long weekend, during which it did not stop raining once.  They were so philosophical and merely said “what can we expect with a break in January at least the cottage was cosy?”  I am amazed that we are fully booked bar 4 days in February, to quote Jamie Lawson “I never expected that”.

AFTER

Spring is not far off, this I know as Sophie the gardener has come out of hibernation and is busy with borders once again.  This lady has talent and knows about plants.  I am eagerly awaiting the beds around Armstrong Equine filling with colour now we are in year two.  I am told Sophie has planted some pink ‘things’ in the shape of a horseshoe.  

Bengi, the biggest softie horse in the yard, went off to a loan home on approval…..they did not approve and described him as uncontrollable and dangerous.  Honestly I just could not believe it, nor does anybody here.  He was greeted back with cuddles, carrots and lots of attention.  Maybe he had a plan all along?  If only I could ride, Bengi is exactly the type of horse I would want.  When I first came to the farm I thought ‘a horse was a horse’ but now I know that they all have such complex and different personalities.  In fairness as I only do turnout, rugs, feed and stables I am asking little of them and only see the best side. 

Richard the fencing man is here at the moment and already has made a big difference.  Luke our old apprentice pops in to see us from time to time which is great as I miss him and Nye’s album is coming out in February.  A busy month ahead.

If a book was written about the ‘comings and goings’ in the livery yard it would be seen as too dramatic and far-fetched.  Looking back at 2016 we have witnessed incidents, accidents, arguments, kindness & cooperation and sufficient drama (no I’m not going into details!) to make most soap operas/novels seem lightweight. Even Mike & I are not immune.  Last summer my dear darling eldest son and I had a ‘divergence of opinion’.  A song has since been uploaded to sound cloud that would appear is about my lack of understanding (not 100% sure but it would seem that way from the lyrics).  It’s called ‘You don’t know’ so judge for yourselves. Most songs are inspired by love and loss, not a mean old mother. Nye James Music.

Charlotte’s business Armstrong Equine has gone from strength to strength and the holiday cottage from a terrifying start has exceeded expectations and is now booked up for Christmas 2016. We have had the loveliest on line reviews.  I never take it for granted and strive to keep up the standard.  Note Christmas tree in milk churn.

​Our good old faithful 20 year old Landy has pulled its last trailer load of forage (for now) and in its place is a marginally younger vehicle which could hardly be described as in its first flush of youth.  Long gone are my days of company cars that were changed annually whether I liked it or not (I did like it).  I am now in the era of offering up prayers before, during and after each journey.  I thought as you matured you were supposed to get better vehicles? 

Not at all sure about this awful warm, wet weather.  The horse gateways (ones not on hard standing) resemble a mixture of the Somme and Glastonbury.  I had to let one horse go as I oozed through the mud.  Now this is what I love about this place: we are miles from a road, everything is chilled and the escaped horse just carried on grazing the side of the drive until I could get to him.  On a good point our flood defence work has done exactly that - ‘worked!’ The drive is no longer washed away and the pond is holding up well.  Regular dangling of youngest member of the team over filter for a clean keeps water flowing….well, according to the National Curriculum they all have to be able to swim a length of pool now before leaving primary school don’t they?  

​We are very pleased and excited that James (Mike’s son who does not write songs about his mother’s lack of understanding) is moving back to Ledbury.  Yes, that’s right, Ledbury, the place once described as a ‘bit of a quiet backwater’ (polite version). Thus demonstrating how we all go full circle in the end.  The bright city lights have dulled and the green wellies, albeit ‘part time wear’ beckon.  Best news we’ve had in ages.

I needed something to take the cream tea (usually scones with jam and cream) and muffins which today are Toblerone and chocolate, down the bumpy, lumpy, farm drive without it ending up resembling Eaton Mess at end of track.  I needed a box, large enough to take a lot, high enough sides to protect the cream, washable and not so big I couldn’t carry it.  I found the answer!  I am not going to say what it is, see if you can work it out from the picture.  The one thing I MUST ADD is that it is BRAND NEW….NEVER BEEN USED!  

Thank Goodness the muck spreading is done!  That’s the last of the major field work finished for 2015,  Mike very skilfully left a pile for the garden/allotments if anybody wants a bit of ‘well-rotted’ for prize winning veg.  Now we can get on with pre-winter barn repairs/machinery maintenance and mending a leak that is fast creating a lake to rival Chatsworth (no fountains/private rain water supply!). 

​The holiday cottage continues to be as busy as ever.  We had a major panic a while ago when a late booking was overlooked.  I dashed out of the farm house, yelled to Luke “Do you know how to use a hoover?!” An affirmative reply had him bundled into the car and off, kidnapping him from Mike without permission. Well, kidnappers don’t usually make a polite request first do they? Luke, Sharon and I had the place looking immaculate within no time (even if we looked appalling, exhausted and sweaty).  You just never know what you can do until challenged.  The cream tea may have been a little late but it was the freshest ever and the chocolate muffins were warm and gooey.  I begged Luke not to tell Hartpury College that their ‘agricultural student’ was forced to wield a hoover, mop and duster.  

​Sharon is making beautiful cushions for sale.  These are no ordinary cushions; they are bespoke and created from fabrics of your choice as a lasting keep sake.  An example is a patchwork cushion made from school uniform or favourite baby outfits.  Each one is a work of art and full of memories.  What a lovely Christmas present.

​Mike, after years of freedom from exams, is studying for a compulsory spraying test.  The rest of us simply cannot resist poking at him after some of his comments … “education these days…not what it was in my day!” We are expecting nothing less than an A*.  (After all, it’s so easy these days).  

​Gloucestershire has some of the most beautiful colours with the autumn leaves following a dry year.  I will never understand why the Forest is the ‘poor relation’ of Gloucestershire; it’s absolutely wonderful with so many walks/things to do.  

We are getting our load of forage ready to go to the Rescue Centre and Monmouth.  If anybody else wants to make a contribution please contact us.  I did an interview on Radio Gloucester to plug the cottage and forage donation.  Longhope was ‘Village of the week’. 

​We took our little old tractor to the Speech House vintage show. Mike & Johnny had a brilliant day.  The general consensus of opinion was ‘do not renovate’.  Leave it alone, which is politely referred to as ‘barn condition’.

​Two little boys looked over at the tractor, one said “I love it, old things are great” the other said “I have never seen such a pile of ****”.  Ah well, just glad the second child was not one of mine, feel sorry for anybody who could be like that at six years old.

​I managed a feat that is ‘no big deal’ to horsey people but quite a milestone for me.  I had to take off an under rug and leave the top one on.  I applied the same technique as removing a bra without removing t-shirt. Have since been told this is not a good idea….rug not bra! 

​We have a lovely new Australian lodger called Noel who sings and makes music.  Since he arrived it’s been dry, sunny and beautiful with hedgerows full of fruit.  I have to say I am not sure what Noel will make of the British winter?  Has he has ever heard of thermal underwear?

I promise this farm can be as lovely in Winter as any other time and the holiday cottage prices are good value.  

​Flicking through the diary I found a letter (obviously written last year in December), a ‘self-nag’ reminding me of the horror of not being ready for Christmas, including an accident and stitches from rushing with power tools.  While fresh in my mind I set forth and purchased a turkey and have made the cake. I just have to hand-paint the card which seems to now be expected by family and friends and I too can be as smug as my friend Rachel whose card is the first to hit the mat in December. 

Thank God the bulk of the harvest is done for 2015!  All we have left is second-cut hay. They have been long, exhausting and physical days.  I now have to brush up my parenting skills, reintroduce myself to forgotten friends and catch up on a mountain of office work (office work according to Mike is not real work as you don’t sweat!) He annoyingly refers to it as ‘my days off!”  If he keeps doing that I will deck him with my ‘Popeye-like’ muscles developed from bale bumping.  I may need to add ‘Anger Management’ to my to-do list. 

Every day I lift and lug bales and feed bags, shove massive beef animals around, chainsaw wood, muck out pens/stables and move furniture in the holiday cottage to hoover underneath (yes….I really do hoover underneath, but alas not in my own home for years. God knows what lurks in dusty peace under our furniture?  I’d need the shotgun at the ready before moving anything. Then last week I relaxed in a bath went to get up and “arghhhh….’locked spine agony’.  Where is the logic in that… is it normal?  I’m far too skint to pay for an osteopath so can be seen dangling from beams on the farm and doing stretching exercises whenever possible.  

The holiday cottage continues to be busy.  We had a dear little boy staying, who managed to knock himself out on day two and ended up in Gloucester Royal overnight.  He then became ‘farming mad’ (was this related to the bump on his head I wonder?) and wanted to watch the tractors going up and down the lane to see the animals. When I was babysitting, I could hear him in the bedroom singing ‘Old McDonald’s Farm’.  I gave him a little ride on the tractor.  What a poppet!  Maybe we should put him down as our work experience lad for 2029?

We are continually improving the cottage.  Our guests have made some great suggestions and during the last month I have purchased a fantastic plastic (retro) set of crockery for the children when they are having cream tea.  I want them to have nice stuff and not the yukky modern plastic (but maybe not the bone china?)  Recently I have purchased: shaver/toothbrush charging plugs, a little toilet seat for toddlers and a stepping stool, a lovely little antique walnut wardrobe and postcards showing a cottage and farm. This list goes on! The suggestion we will not be following was having dogs upstairs, I understand people love their dogs but I have provided a lovely room for them complete with smoke/carbon monoxide alarms, blinds at windows, bowls, luxury dog beds and dog shower/bath.  It’s not fair on other guests to have dogs in bedrooms.   Something I want to get is a slow cooker, they are so useful.  

Here is a nice picture of our bull, cow and the twins.  They are growing.

Our next big job now the harvest is finished is getting all our winter wood in.  I love this job!  We go out as a team with loadall and trailer and pick up any fallen stuff from the fields.  My lovely old Rayburn provides us with all our hot water, cooking and a fair bit of warmth.   If somebody offered me a top of the range brand new electric cooker I would decline with thanks.  You cannot warm your backside on a soulless electric cooker.

I am very excited about getting a workaway volunteer here for a month or two.  My garden is a shameful mess and needs attention.  I had quite a response and they all seemed so nice.  I did workaway when I was young and loved it (still good friends with my host family).  I have had to explain to Mike that they are NOT slave labour!  In my opinion anybody who is prepared to travel around the world doing a few hours work in exchange for food and a room has got to be interesting.  Not sure what they will make of us?  

We have our little old tractor going - it has sat in a barn for years.  We will be taking it to a show in September at the Speech House.  Thank you to the vintage specialists who got it running again so quickly.  

Looks like AGONY to drive with the cracked (metal!) seat and spikey wheels; you’d never be the same again after a spin around the yard.

I really love summer; in fact I am solar powered.  It is as simple as this…Sunny = happy.  Raining = miserable.
  
Every year I forget just how hard it is to balance the school holiday and farm work.  The farm is at its busiest with frantic haymaking/harvest, but ironically lowest income, hence the holiday cottage to fill the reduced income gap.  

The older ‘children’ are pretty much self-sufficient but my youngest at 12 declares he is the only child in the whole of Longhope not to have gone on holiday.   Correction: only child in Gloucestershire/western world not to have gone on holiday.

Most of our day trips occur when rain stops farm work. We have a collection of photographs of our trips out, complete with waterproofs, umbrellas, wellies and having a ‘lovely time’.  I remember going to ‘pedal a bike away’ with Mike (in the rain).  The sun came out and all Mike could think about was haymaking. He peddled off as if competing in the last leg of ‘Tour de France’; I saw his arse disappearing into the distance, all he needed was a yellow jersey.

We have taken on some more land/work bordering ours which is now being cut for hay.  It felt strange going through the hedge to make a new gateway.  Normally new gateways only occur when somebody (usually youthful somebodies) crash the tractor through a hedge. They then get named e.g.: ‘Fred’s gateway, Bert’s gateway etc….names changed to protect the guilty.  

We have got the most adorable little ducklings on the pond, six of them.  So glad we have the little island to ensure their safety from Mr Fox. 

The holiday cottage is very busy, we are virtually booked up solidly until November, then there are a few gaps which I hope will soon be filled.  The dogs love our dedicated dog room.  We are underway with ‘guns on pegs’.  In fact we were in the middle of a photo-shoot when our holiday guests appeared (early, but not their fault) so we quickly had to ‘scramble to action’ and put everything back (guns away/ cream tea out!)  Amazing what you can do when you have to.  Thank you to Shep for giving us the idea, Maddie & Whisper who were the lovely models.  

Thank you to Anne, one of our guests in Oakbank who sent some great photographs.
  
It’s sad to say goodbye to our lovely tenants Lindsay & Alan but looking forward to Ray, Natasha and family moving in soon.  

Talk about multitasking!  In the time it has taken me to write this diary page I have had to help make a bird nest box, sort tea, sort two livery ladies, write an invoice for contract work, pay two helpers before they disappeared and make two phone calls. This is exactly why I get up at 5.00am to do the office jobs, nobody is about and I can get three times the work done.  The only issue with that is I tend to be "at home to Mrs Grumpy’ by the end of the day.  

These twin calves were born in the pouring rain.  Jacob, our Saturday boy, helped us get them in, tie up the cow, milk her and get colostrum (first milk rich in antibodies) to the calves.  They are doing really well now.  Both males.

Here we go again…..off to mow a meadow (or six).  Mike, Luke & Will’s bums have hardly left the tractor/loadall seats for 12 hours and they are walking like cowboys and looking dazed as they step foot on terra firma once more.  The hay quality is superb this year, wonderful and palatable.  

We all love the empty fields that can now be used to ride horses on (for a limited time in case of second cut) and Rufus, who is now as tall as me, has been promised driving lessons.  Yes I know he is only 12 but it’s compensation for never having holidays and being made to work!  (Please refer complaints to Child Line but spell my Danish name correctly).  We will use Mike’s car, not mine…..is that bad?  

We have another new foal on the farm at Armstrong Equine,  an absolute poppet with a spotty botty.  A filly called Dreamer.  

We have finally got a barrier underway to avoid accidents.  We have seen tadpoles/frogs, ducks, dragonflies and a kingfisher. The dead tree is now felled, it was in danger of falling.  We also lost part of a lovely oak tree.  I have donated a chunk to our local wood turner.  He brought up a wonderful bowl and salt mill in advance of having the wood….. now I feel under pressure and guilty every time I see him dog walking on the farm drive, I can sense myself looking shifty.    If the sap settles it will make ‘wonky’ bowls so I MUST get the chain saw out.  

If anybody out there wants some beautiful turned wooden works of art (not wonky!) contact Keith Fenton and tell him the ‘shifty character’ recommended.  

Just to prove that we have the nicest people staying in our cottage one chap saw the garage door was broken and fixed it.  Can you believe it; he fixed the door while on holiday?  

Now from what I recall of these things called ‘holidays’ one is supposed to relax and have fun.  I am so grateful. What lovely people.  He mends guitars for a living and was obviously one of those blokes who are a real ‘Mr Fixit’, the sort that means women are jealous of his wife. 

I can honestly say that everybody staying at the cottage has been brilliant and many have put great ideas in the suggestions book.  By listening to guests we hope to continually improve.  

Luke our apprentice has passed his tractor test.  Brilliant, well done Luke!  Now I can avoid ‘Stenders’ with tractor/trailer loaded with big bales.  Stenders is a hill near Mitcheldean, the best way I can describe it is a ‘ski black run’ with traffic coming the other way.  It kept me awake at night in the countdown to bale hauling, on the dreaded day I would wake up in a cold sweat knowing the hour had arrived.  I would hold my breath all the way down the hill and feel a massive sense of relief when the co-op came into view (as blue as my face with breath holding) and I knew the worst was over.  As you will gather, this is not my favourite pass time.  Mike who drove tractors all his life simply has no concept of my fear.  The flatness of Lincolnshire farming suddenly seems appealing.

All this haymaking has left us no time for life’s everyday stuff such as haircuts.  Mike is looking like a ‘farmer disguised as an endangered species’.  To bed up the yard could just sit in the middle, have a quick trim and ‘job done’…..one bedded up cattle yard and big straw saving.  One of our livery girls is now an Avon Lady which is dead handy, I will need something to conceal the black bags under my eyes by the end of harvest (and reduce the blue colour if driving down Stenders).  Good Luck Izzi with that and the new nail venture.  

We are so looking forward to some old friends coming back to the yard.  When people come back it is reassuring that we are at least getting something right.  That’s not to say that we don’t have plans for improvements.  

Hooray! Since the last newsletter Armstrong Equine yard has a load of hard-standing areas, roadway and a roundabout.  This will make it much easier for horseboxes and avoid the dreading reversing (precariously near to the pond!). Horseboxes are not amphibious. The landscaping looks a bit patchy but as the plants grow the gaps will be filled.  Most flowers are pink to match Armstrong Equine colours….. Charlotte had better rent the place for a long time, I cannot see some ‘hairy arsed light engineering workers’ loving the pinkness in years to come!  

Isn’t this spring weather great?  We love the long light evenings and dry fields.  It’s great having horses out all the time.  There was just the most beautiful sky a while ago, I took this while checking the cows & calves. Silaging starts within a week or so.  

The little foal is beautiful, so bouncy.  I think Poppy is a very lucky girl to be able to study at her desk by the window and watch the foal growing, seemingly by the day. 

We also had Ross Motor Sports club come for the annual rally.  It went off very smoothly and the bacon rolls/cream teas sold very well.  We had my good old wood burning Rayburn (poor man’s Aga) going flat out, more like a kiln, we could have fired pottery in it.  We all had to have baths to use the hot water before it boiled in the tank.  Once gone you would hardly know they had been on the field, there was practically no damage and we were the cleanest family in the village.  Again thanks for my team of helpers, Poppy, Jess and Becky.

Holiday cottage exceeding expectations.  We hope to have shooting parties there during the winter months to ensure all year round income.  Hopefully that means I can tarmac the drive by the cottages.  

Here is the arena membrane going down….what a job!  Could have done with my principal ‘bed maker’ at the cottage, Sharon. Thank goodness it was not a windy day.  

Thank you so much to Will Smith who helped us out over the half term holiday.  All cattle yards cleaned out which is great.  

Have done something impulsive and purchased (from eBay) a lovely old Victorian range cooker, I don’t actually have a place to put it yet but maybe the barn conversion if we EVER get it done.  Stove is called ‘Betsy’ according to the old couple I got it from, I promised them she would be loved and looked after.  It took SIX of us (four of which were farmers) to lift the thing; we were panting, sweating and straining, after which the lovely elderly couple told us they have ‘gradually’ got it out of their house themselves. Yep, just the two of them!  Wonder if they want a job?

Babies everywhere!  We have a cute little foal belonging to Armstrong Equine born on Friday night (rather speedily!) and we have five calves so far, more due over coming month/s.
  
Finally the Armstrong Equine yard has flowers….pink ones and lots of them.  The pond landscaping is next, for this I need advice. Luke (our apprentice) & I had a ‘most embarrassing moment’.  I was demonstrating how to spread bull rush seed along the pond bank (with a bull rush coated in seed).  I danced around to show how to spread the seed far and wide (think sugar plum fairy!) Luke grabbed one and danced about too.  We looked up to see the local contractor walking towards us grinning.  You know when you try to explain weird behaviour and it just sounds daft…..it was one of those moments.  I’m Ok, it’s my farm, but poor Luke is at the start of his farming career….maybe?

The cream teas are going down well in the holiday cottage.  I laid out a tea for six and then only the grandparents turned up on Friday, the rest of the family to follow later. Lesson learnt, always check! 

Ross Motor Sports Club will be coming to the farm for a day on May 24th. Cream teas for sale, and anybody is welcome, not just motor heads.